#GirlsNight

Not every week on TST we gotta talk sh!t. Like I mentioned on week one, this page is more like our own Shaderoom, or girl talk. So today, we’re keeping it light. 

If you have a big group of friends or you’re like me and have a small circle, you’ve definitely experienced a “girls night”. Which ones have you experienced?? Or what’s your favorite?? 

What’s a Girls night out?...

 For normal cliques, this usually happens on life events, Most commonly, the Birthday. Girls night out can also happen when a bestie is in town, a new work promotion or one of those “I just need to get out and clear my head cause life is annoying me” type of instance. So what do we do? Clock out of work. Shower up real good. Put on that freakum dress. Beat your face to the gawds. Slick on that edge control and...get it... get it..get it girl... Get a sex on the beach and dance with your girls.

Or how about a Girls night in...

 This is one of those random nights where you gather for no particular reason and end up doing all kinds of stuff. A few years back, for my crew, this happened every Thursday. This was the night we cooked, baked, drank, talked shit, cried, stressed, drank some more, binged(shout out to Desperate Housewives!) and debated. As you can tell, there was no rhyme or reason to girls night, it just was. I usually tried to see if I can get my friends in on some SVU or Grey's Anatomy on these nights. Come on who doesn't love a great medical drama or Benson and Stabler kickin ass? *dun-dun*

To be honest, the first Broke and Fluffy meeting took place during one of these nights. It was more of us then compared to now, but we spent many nights dreaming on what Broke and Fluffy could eventually become — Welcome to girls night where ideas are born. 

Cliques of friends, whether big or small, all deserve a night where all the personalities come together and just let go. If you haven't done either in a while you might be over due or need a new group of friends JK(btw I’m available! Lol). Plan a girls night with your friends, let's bring back those high school sleepover vibes. So who’s got the Winnie the Pooh PJs? ... ooh and don’t forget the wine!! 

#MyTeamGood

Last night at the Met Gala, Louisiana native Big Freedia got to perform her infamous bounce music. It was lit. Between the dancers and the queens, it was all very fitting for the “camp” theme this year, I was proud(and sad that I wasn’t in attendance!!). There are plenty small town people making waves in the industry like Big Freedia. SupaCent with her @CrayonCase makeup, PreMadonna with her waist trainers/cookbook/seasoning and DaRealBbJudy for her hair products to name a few. But with success, comes envy, jealousy and more commonly, shaky relationships.

There will always come a time in our lives where we may not be on the same wavelengths with our friends. To me, this is the true test of friendship. We have to realize that though we have our “day ones” and the “ride or dies”, our lives are our own and its going to move in the direction it was intended. If your friend is moving up in life, the least you can do is respect it. If you have your own thing your doing, keep doing it because her life doesn’t become yours and at the end of the day, neither does her success. And the least she can do is reciprocate the same energy towards your dreams. Any group of friends that can successfully master this is golden because there is nothing more awesome and beautiful than a group of women WINNING at life, together.

It’s ok to CLAP for your friends if their dream takes off before yours. 

It’s ok to CLAP for your friends who’s business booms before yours. 

It’s ok to feel HAPPY and APPRECIATION for your friends especially when you know what they went through. 

I don’t even use/like the word “hater” because I refuse to give it energy. But I’ll say this... deep down, you’ll know what CLAPS are genuine. 

#DUFF

Designated. 

Ugly. 

Fat. 

Friend. 

Now I did NOT come up with this, nor have I ever heard it IRL, but apparently this exists. This was the title of a teen movie that came out back in 2015. It was based around a slightly chubby girl(honestly I wouldn’t have even considered her fat, she was just a shade heavier than her peers) and her two very popular friends that were considered flawless(one of the friends were Zendaya so....yeah). Anyways, in the movie they were at a party and her neighbor who was the school jock(nice guy) put her up on game and told her she was the DUFF of the group and that every clique of friends has one. At first she denied it but after looking around the party it became more evident. This caused her to go into a frenzy. She accused her friends for using her to make them look good and questioned everything, eventually making her become really insecure. 

Watch the movie to see how it plays out; it’s a good comedy. I put it up there with Mean Girls and Easy A. 

This movie had me thinking. Is this DUFF thing true? Being the bigger one in my clique of friends, I guess I was the DUFF. Luckily, my friends never made me feel out of place. Sure we ranked on each other from time to time but it was in all fun, no serious hurt feelings type sh**. Title or not, I definitely had those insecure moments a lot. I can think as far back to 7th grade where I was asked to a dance(in the form of a poem, looking back it was adorable af). What does warped minded me do? I replied and asked why? Not a yes or no, but why? Why didn’t he ask my “prettier” friend? Short answer. He wasn’t interested in her. 

So when that movie played out and the main character was going through the feels, I understood and I wish I had found clarity about my position in society early on. Who knows what I missed out on over the years. Now I can only wonder what could’ve sparked at that 7th grade dance. 

#TeaTime

Welcome to BnF’s version of tea time with a twist... Here where our tea comes with a shot of Hennessy and a side of ratchet-ry?(I tried to rhyme - fail). Girl talk has been a pillar in our community and the practices are embedded in our DNA. Who all grew up seeing their mom chatting away on the phone or all the women gathered in the kitchen chit chatting about everyone’s business? Today, one cannot just buy a dress without her homegirls opinion on the shoes and jewelry or after a relationship stalk his IG alone (just a quick log in on the alias profile that yall share for uhh research purposes....). What I’m saying is that girl talk is necessary. I need to discuss the RHOA reunion with somebody but how am I supposed to do that when two of my closest friends don’t even watch it. *rolls eyes*

This is our version of the shaderoom, sometimes we’ll dabble into pop culture, politics, news and plain ol’ girl talk. To get this ball rolling, tell us about your friends. Do you have a circle or do you like to keep it solo dolo? Who do you go to for girl talk? Go ahead...talk yo sh!t sis!